Uhhhhhh…. Shit! Did I leave the iron on again?
Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve got the air conditioning turned down to 65 degrees, trying to de-humidify the room.
Oh no! Is it the Nespresso machine?
Came back from dinner (less than 200 feet away) to a full-scale evacuation from the hotel for a grease fire in the kitchen. The music was so loud in the restaurant (but it was ok as it was 80s – best decade ever!) we didn’t even hear the sirens.
I’ve been in three hotels in my lifetime that the fire alarms went off in. And one dormitory in 1990 in Boston. It’s extremely disorienting, being roused from deep sleep like that, your heart is hammering and the adrenaline dump into your system makes for not great choices of what to wear. I’m glad that we were out while this happened, and that it wasn’t the middle of the night.
And dammit, are ALL FIREMAN FRIKKEN HOTTIES? All over the world? 
One of them started shucking his firepants and of course being the brazen hussy that I am, I shouted, “HEY NOW!” which made all the women in the crowd titter and the fireman blush an impossible red. I call that making the best of a bad situation!
The Fat-Bottomed Girl's Guide To Travel 